How are you? It’s been a while, huh? I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but I’ve been pretty quiet on the old blogging of late. While you have been anxiously checking your inbox and newsfeed for another hilarious post, I’ve been trying to write something funny, or touching, or just made of words that form sentences, for WEEKS now.
Oh no, I hear you mutter. It must be a touch of writer’s block. Which is exactly what I thought at first. But sadly, as time has passed I’ve pondered my absence more and more. Especially late at night when I’m trying to sleep, which I think we can all agree is the best way to rid one’s self of insomnia. That and scrolling eBay at 2am for dungarees (fun fact, I like dungarees now. WHO KNEW!).
Yes, I’ve had a bit of an epiphany. Which you might have guessed by the title of this post. I have realised that I no longer enjoy blogging.
I know, I’ll give you a minute to take it all in. Why would someone give up on something so soon after starting? Why put yourself out there so frankly only to clam up at the first hurdle? Who will share your parenting woes through the bright shiny screen when I’m gone?
Which brings me neatly to my first reason for stopping. Because the answer to that last question is literally millions of people. I had no idea before I started blogging the sheer amount of parenting-related content out there. It’s everywhere. There are bloggers, vloggers, influencers, writers, comedians, Instagram stars and authors, and they all have engaging and exciting content.
As for me, a tiny voice in this massive field – I’m proud of my small wins (being published on HuffPost, being featured on Selfish Mother etc) but the struggle is real. The bigger influencers have really carved out their niche and have loyal fanbases. For me – blogging was never really about being a ‘blogger’ or an ‘influencer,’ it was about writing. I had no idea that blogging was 20% writing and 80% social media/ promotion. Call me naive but it was an eye-opener.
I like social media. I use it for blogging and for personal shits and giggles. I do worry about its effect on my sleep deprived sugar-addled mind though. I don’t think spending hours and hours scrolling through feeds and trying to engage to get noticed is healthy. Especially when the algorithms suck so bad.
Case in point – I have 791 ‘followers’ on Facebook on my Gaa Gaa Land page. When I first started sharing blogs on there, approx 10-12,000 people would have it pop up in their newsfeed. My last post reached the heady heights of 150 people. One hundred and fifty. Big hairy balls.
I know, this stuff all sounds like excuses and is a bit boring, but it is a big factor in my decision to stop. What is the point in writing if after 18 months of self-promotion and work no one sees it? I could do it again, another 18 months of trying, and all it would take would be for Facebook to change the algorithm again and boom, I would be back at the start.
It’s disheartening, and the trying and failing have dampened my spirits. It has pissed on my fire. I’m all out of spark. You get it…
To those of you who have followed me, the ‘elite 150’ who see my posts, I would like to say thank you. I am truly grateful for every comment, like, ‘reaction’ (oh do fuck off Facebook) and share. I really am.
I have loved hearing inappropriate things people have said to you after discovering you’re up the duff. The feedback on my most popular post, The Ten MumDamnMents, made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I even enjoyed some of the ‘debate’ (ahem) that stemmed from my open letter to EasyJet after the shitshow of a flight I experienced last year. But sadly, I am all out of words.
Friends and family – those who have supported me and who are the few who know I’m doing this (I’ve taken ‘anonymous’ to the next level), thanks so much. My Baby Bores, you’ve helped me more than you could ever know. My wonderful sister in law, you’re the best. My Northern Mams, who have supported me from day one. Thank you to you all.
A special thank you to Renee who designed my logo, you are a wonderful and gifted friend and I’m sorry I’m giving up. I am so grateful for your time and I think you’re so, so talented.
Thanks to my long-suffering husband for all the pics. For spending hours lighting Playmobil so I could maintain my anonymity and try and brand myself up. I love you.
Thanks to all the fellow bloggers who have supported me, especially Kate, Nicole and Carly, and good luck with everything. You’re all brilliant and your voices are ringing loud and clear. I will enjoy following you as a reader, instead of a colleague.
And to Sarah, a friend of a friend who I met briefly a few months ago and was so lovely about my blog. Thanks love. Soz for quitting. Wang me your email address and next time I feel like moaning about my life I will just blog it to you. Cut out the middleman. Screw you algorithms. 😉
See you later internet. It’s been emotional.