A MOTHER OF TWO from Surrey has reportedly lost the ability to hear silence after being subjected to 3 years of constant chatter.
Mrs Land bravely opened up about her ordeal, which has prompted scientists to recognise this debilitating condition as Toddler Induced Tinnitus, or TIT for short.
“After having children, I always knew I had a fairly big case of TIT, I just didn’t realise my TIT was so bad.” the brave Mother told our reporter, over a stream of incessant ramblings from her children about bum bums and Peppa Pig.
“Sometimes I lock myself in the toilet to try and quell the noise, but they always find me. I constantly hear ‘Mummy, do you know’ about every tiny detail of their day and quite frankly, it’s sending me batshit.”
Mrs Land tried to demonstrate her struggle by allowing her children to be interviewed:
“9 take away 1 is 5. I want chocolate for dinner. What is your name? Why are you wearing that top? Do you want to play Hide and Seek? My best friend is called Balloon Face. Wait, where is Mummy?”
Our reporter was last seen running for the hills. Scientists have labelled this reaction a classic case of TIT avoidance.
“See!” shouted Mrs Land from behind the locked pantry door. “Told you.”
Do you have TIT? Have you any experiences of TIT or TIT related tales? Then we would love to hear from you. Comment on one of our social platforms or send your story to sendhelp@mykidswon’tstoptalking.org