In previous posts, I’ve referred to my little boy as LB and little girl as LG. I’m going to re-re-rewind – from now on LB will be known as Sonny, and LG will be known as Bessie. Soundalikes of the Toy Story characters (kind of), but with different names for copyright reasons (Disney will clearly get wind of this post due to my rising popularity).
Having ‘real’ names is easier for me to write, easier for you to read and pretty true to life as they both trot out the same 5 phrases daily and become lifeless when I want them to do anything useful.
As my world centres around looking after these little critters, here’s all you need to know in 2 handy biographies:
Age: 4 and a half (this MUST be loudly communicated to people in shops/ on the street/ in a public restroom with no prompting or context)
- From an early age Sonny refused to conform. All the baby books set his Mummy up for ‘resting when the baby does’ but Sonny operated outside of this box, sleeping for 30 minutes at a time making anything but a quick and quiet solo wee impossible.
- At six months, Sonny learned how to commando roll from one side of the room to the other in seconds, the start of his training as a stealth operator.
- By 12 months, Sonny could reduce his Mummy to tears by pulling at the small hairs at the top of her neck and refusing any kind of solid food.
- As a toddler Sonny displayed boundless curiosity forcing his entire house into lockdown. Any unlocked cupboards were discovered within 3 minutes and ransacked.
- Now a spirited 4 year (and a half) old – Sonny will take an object, find it’s use and/ or purpose and do something completely different with it. Examples include turning a pirate ship into a rocket or a piece of paper into a nasal plug.
- Sonny is a budding linguist and will give inanimate objects a new moniker within seconds. A comb is a ‘spikey hair strokeringlaa’ and a balloon is a ’round air floatenflingen.’ His parents fear they have read him too much Dr Seuss.
- A natural magician, Sonny is practising the art of making stuff disappear and claiming to have no knowledge of where it is. He is also mastering the art of wiping his bottom, but as yet unable to make ‘the brown go away.’ (“IT’S STILL BROWN MUMMY!”)
Likes: Magic tricks, stuff that fits inside other stuff and is therefore easily hidden, sausages, rockets, superheroes, “Man in the Mirror” by Michael Jackson, dancing like Michael Jackson, annoying his sister and not listening.
Dislikes: Things that aren’t magic tricks, stuff that won’t fit inside other stuff, healthy food, writing his name, mosquitoes, stinging bees, his sister annoying him and listening.
Age: 3 and a half (although will often say ‘5’ when asked).
- Bessie was a bit of a poorly baby, who suffered from awful silent reflux. Bessie taught her parents that having a baby like Sonny was a walk in the park. Bessie’s early days were more running and screaming through a wood than anything park based.
- At just one week old, Bessie lured her Daddy into a trap by pretending she didn’t need to crap, and then crapping all over his face as he lifted her legs to inspect his expert nappy cream application. Bessie’s Mummy laughed so hard she nearly split her cesarean stitches.
- Bessie didn’t want a dummy and instead would suck the ears of her stuffed bunnies for comfort. As a result, she was surrounded by a smell of sweet, slightly off milk and was consistently damp from pressing the sucked ears against her clothes.
- By 12 months, Bessie could cruise around furniture comfortably and liked to do so nappy free. It was around this time she ate her own shit.
- As a toddler, Bessie discovered she could cry at will and manipulate people into doing stuff for her. This includes fetching stuff, taking scary stuff away and getting food whenever she wants. Bessie has mastered the art of manipulation with Daddy and is persisting with Mummy.
- Bessie can be extremely shy and nervous of others, and will burst into tears when approached by a well meaning old person who was determined to coo over a toddler and who couldn’t read her terrified cues.
- Now 3 and a half – Bessie is coming out of her shell and learning from her brother how to hide stuff in other stuff and not wipe her bottom properly. She also has alarming levels of attitude.
Likes: Stuffed animals (especially ones with well worn ears), painting, writing her name as small as physically possible, bouncy balls, saying ‘why,’ porridge, chocolate cake – in fact anything with chocolate in it, The Lazy Song by Bruno Mars, dancing and annoying her brother.
Bessie is working on not listening.
Dislikes: Animals when they’re close up (great from a distance, within 2 feet = terrifying), thunder bangs, loud people, not doing crafts, not being able to bounce balls when shopping, tomatoes and her brother annoying her.
Fun fact about Sonny and Bessie. I LOVE them with every fibre in my body. I love them a shit ton. And I am grateful for them every day.
Oh and side note – I am getting VERY excited about the many Facebook, Instagram and Twitter followers! Sending grateful and thankful vibes your way – and really hope you’re enjoying my ramblings.
For newbies, why don’t you….
Give my page a like on Facebook
Give my tweets a retweet or a like on Twitter
Feast your eyes on the beaut pics taken by my talented better half on Instagram
And of course – read past blogs on my website – www.gaagaaland.com
Peace out, N ♥